Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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