i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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