im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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