sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
