We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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