JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
