Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
