and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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