This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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