theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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