I need to stop coming to work sober
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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