I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
