its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
