Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
