Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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