Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
