I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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