their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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