why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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