i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
worst night to have a conscience
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
