he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
