he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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