Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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