Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
