Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I have post one night stand depression
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