some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
be right there i have to get my cape
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize