We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
