Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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