I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
