Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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