In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He? As in you personified your dick?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
