just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
