Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
