her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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