As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
