Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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