I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I look better un-naked...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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