I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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