is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
then he tried to convert me to islam
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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