How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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