I'm so fucking centered right now
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
