Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
