I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
