I love black thongs
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
