Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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