I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
