We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
why do cheetos always look like penises
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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