let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
