The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
