get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think I won the penis lottery.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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