Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch

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(216): View more from Ohio

Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise

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(516): View more from New York

I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something

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(847): View more from Illinois

Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa

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(732): View more from New Jersey

His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night

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(614): View more from Ohio

This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?

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(646): View more from New York

I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.

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