So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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