Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
try to milk me bitch
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