You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
