If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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