census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
