So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
worst night to have a conscience
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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