theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
