he wants to bone in the snuggie
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize