Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It's blow job season.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
