i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
